What to expect while expecting? You expect to be joyful, happy, a beaming light of glitter and sparkle. A harsh reality is every day may not be sunny and bright. I know during this pregnancy for the most part I have been happy. Happy because I am carrying my rainbow baby. But with the promising pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, my little bucket was also filled with gloomy moments and not so nice feelings. One of the most valuable lessons I learned early on life is that you must take the bitter with the sweet. So just as I have been overjoyed with the idea that I am growing a little ray of sunshine, I am also worried, highly reactive, and sometimes frustrated. And, that’s ok.
Pregnancy ushers in so many things you never knew existed. Hormone levels surge through the roof, boy or girl. The higher levels of hormones like estrogen, progesterone, and even testosterone (thanks little boy) that prepare your body to birth a human affects your mood. So, tears from nowhere cascade down my face like waterfalls and the need to verbally respond to everything that irritates the hell out of me—blame it on my crazy mood.
I had a creative desire to capture a moody photoshoot when I talked to my friend Kim about maternity pictures. Bittersweet moments should be documented just as the happy moments. Women, especially those with child, we have to give ourselves permission to work through our emotions and actually embrace them. The high calling to carry a child for 9 months, go through the pits of hell lol to deliver and come out more beautiful ever with the strength to care for a child is commendable, sis.
I gave myself permission to be sad that my son will never meet his grandfather. I allowed myself to worry about how I now had to level up in business to provide for another child. I said it is quite okay to worry about delivering a baby as a black women when you see the death statistics.
I was also grateful that this Gemini baby has allowed me to express myself and openly communicate when someone works my last nerve. I’m so humbled that God showed me favor to bear child again. I feel tremendously blessed that I will have a boy and a girl so I don’t have to do this again, lol.
cape made by me
earrings Style Junkie
shoes Karl Lagerfield
Kim Thomas of KPFUSION