Letter to My Daughter, who will be a big sister
To my daughter Amira,
Punkin, you know mommy listens to everything you say. Even when you think I’m not because I’m driving in a daze, daydreaming or on the phone, I listen. Remember we were driving to go on our mommy and daughter date? You said, “I’ll be glad when dude gets here, he’s slowing us down.” Mommy heard you loud and clear. So, I wanted to write you a letter since you will be a big sister soon.
It’s been just you and I for 10 years. Boo, that’s an entire decade. And, can I tell you a secret? I really loved our life together. You were truly my little bite size BFF. We did everything together and talked about everything. You shared with me how you wanted mommy to be married and you wanted to have a little sister. Well some of those things worked out for us. In the next few weeks, you'll be a big sister. Before you make this huge transition, I want you to know a few things.
I hope I can love your brother as much as I love you.
I’m sure you have been thinking about how I will love the both of you. I wonder that sometimes too. Deep down, I know I will. But, you have held every space in my heart that it's hard for me to imagine spreading as much love to another little person. I talk to other moms a lot and they tell me that I will love you all the same but in different way. I know I’ll love Jasiel with all of my heart but I couldn’t imagine loving anyone else more than you.
I'm sorry we won’t be able to just pack up and go like we used to for just a bit.
Mommy can’t rip and run right now due to carrying your brother. I try! I try to keep our life as normal as possible. But I need you to understand, I’m growing a little human. I can’t walk super fast. Walking around IKEA right now is out of the question. Soon, it will be over. I’ll have 8 weeks to recover then we can get back to normal well our “new normal”. We may have an extra diaper bag to carry, a stroller or stop so I can nurse him but we’ll make it work. Like I tell you there are no excuses.
I'm so proud of you.
I know you'll be an amazing big sister. I know it will take time to adjust for all of us. You'll never be the only child after this. But you'll be able to teach your baby brother so much! You already love singing to my belly and giving it kisses. He’ll really look up to his big sister. I’m sure of that because you are just so amazing. He is truly blessed to have Amira Senoj as his big sister. He’ll cheer you on at your recitals and school programs. He’ll look over your drawings and want you to teach him how to do it too.
We will always have our time together.
We both wanted to have another little girl in the house. Now, I’m so happy it is a boy. You know why? We will always have our own little bond as mommy and daughter. You won’t have to share your clothes, your makeup, your toys or your time. We can go get manis and pedis and leave him here with Daniel. There is nothing more precious to me than spending time with my favorite girl.